


Believe it or Not

by Office



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-15 00:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Office/pseuds/Office
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite popular belief Loki was just as stunted as Thor when it comes to understanding modern Midgard. Only difference is that Loki didn't rush into things like Thor did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Washing Machines

It was a beautiful morning in Malibu, the sun illuminating everything in the Stark mansion. The team had left late last night for some kind of meeting and were now sleeping quietly in their rooms, leaving Loki alone pretty much all morning. Which he didn't mind, since his return he had been quiet and limiting his pranks down to one or two per day. He spent most of his time cleaning house, because Stark kept it trashed and between the iron man and Thor, the house was always in need of constant cleaning.

He started his morning with his favorite treat, toast and blueberry jam. He had long since got use to the toaster popping up; unlike his brother who had Mjolnir ready every time he fixed Pop-tarts. He gobbled it up, washing it down with a cold glass of milk and preceded to clean to kitchen. Satisfied with the shine everything was producing he skimmed down the list for the next thing to do.

"Let's see," he read the paper up and down "Take out the trash. Pass. Clean windows." he looked around the room and thought for a second "Pass." Like hell he was going to clean all those windows in the mansion "Washing clothes." he settled on this one.

He had seen Pepper do the laundry before and it looked fairly easy to do, so easy Thor could do it, Pepper had mentioned one time to Steve. He went into his room gathered up his clothes and went to the laundry room. There were some simple instructions on the wall facing the machines.

Greetings Guest,

Here are some easy to understand instructions on how to use the following

Washier:  
1) Separate the lighter clothes from the darker clothes. If washed together your darker clothes will fade onto your lighter ones.  
2) Put clothes into machine and hit 'start' button. All the machines are pre-set, you don't even have to add soap.  
3) When the machine is done it will turn off by its self. The load usually takes about 28 to 30 minutes.

Tips:  
Do NOT put your uniforms in the washers, they mess up your clothes, this means you Thor, we can't afford to buy another washer  
Do NOT put weapons in the washer, it will only break the machine.  
Do NOT use the bleach PERIOD.

Sidenote: If someone else's clothes are in the washer please place them in the dryer, I'm talking to you Tony.

Dryer:  
1). Place wet load from washer into drum and hit 'start'. Just like the washer the time is present and usually takes about 60 minutes to complete.  
2) The machine will cut off when it is finished

Tips:  
Refer to the first two tips in the washer section  
If you want your clothes to be softer, you may place ONE dryer sheet in the machine. The dryer sheets are in the box labeled dryer sheets on the rake in front of the dryer.

Thanks  
-Pepper P.

Sounds easy enough, Loki did laugh at the part that referenced to Thor, he was very angry that day he got his cape messed up. Serves him right, it was blindingly ugly anyways. Loki separated his clothes into two piles as instructed, pulled out the clothes already in the washer and placed those in the dryer and put his in the washer. Hit start, "Done." he stared at the machines with a satisfied grin. He looked around the wash room, for something to do to pass the time. There were a pile of sheets sitting in a basket labeled 'clean', so to past the time he decided to fold them up.

This was a lovely way to pass time, the laundry room smelt clean and fresh and the light soft green paint made the room even more inviting. Though it was small and could only fit about three people comfortably, it was cozy, clean, and organized. "I could get use to this," he folded, letting the time pass "Yes I-" but before he could finish his statement the washier let out a ear rattling screech, scaring Loki out of his skin and his sanity. It was an unearthly sound and he thought he was being attacked, so he shot a blast of fire from his hand at the machine. BOOM! The washer exploded, gushing out water and soap all of the place and into Loki's face, "GAAAHHHHHHHHHH" he rubbed his eyes but in vein as the soap continued to blast him all over the place, into his month. "AHHHHHHHH AHHHH AHHHH" he screamed making a desperate attempt to make it to the door, but he slipped and slid into the door, causing it to slam shut. The machine continued to pour out more water, flooding onto the floor.

Loki felt around for the door, reaching it, but before he could reach it, the dryer shorted and explored sending clothes everywhere. The door was now jammed, by a huge water pipe, now also gushing out water. The room was beginning to flood, water coming from everywhere mixing with soap. Loki turned and made his way through the waist deep water, to the window. Tugging at it but to no avail, as it was pretty much glued shut. "WHY!" he shouted making his way back to the door.

He grabbed the rack and hopped up onto the folding table in an effort to get out of the soapy water, when he knocked over several boxes of fast acting super concentrated foaming soap. The room exploded with soap and bubbles, he slipped off the folding table into the now neck deep water, his eyes burning like hot frying grease. "GAAHHHHHH, GLUMP GLUMP," he coughed struggling to keep himself a float.

Tony, who was outside cutting the glass, got a call from JARVIS, "Go head Jar." Tony shouted through his ear piece. "We have a problem sir, Mr. Laufeyson has locked himself in the laundry room, which is now filling up with water." Tony turned off the mower and ran to the house "I'm on it."

To his surprise the room wasn't actually not locked but stuck, he tugged and pushed but the door wouldn't budge. "Loki? Are you in there?" nothing, he pushed at the door again, placing his ear to the door. All he heard was a whooshing noise, "Uhoh, that can't be good. JARVIS where is Thor and Steve?" JARVIS chimed in "Mr. Rogers and Mr. Odinson are in the recreational room, would you like me to call them sir?"

"Yeah," he said smartly

"What's going on?" Steve looked at Tony with concern.

"Wonder boy is stuck in the laundry room." Tony gestured towards the door

Thor pushed the two aside " WHO DARE CAPTURE THE SON OF ODIN!" he swung his hammer, which seemed to appear from out of no where, at the door.

SWOSH. A wall of water came pouring out of the room, knocking Thor to the ground. Tony and Steve had been standing far enough away, but their legs were now covered with water and suds. Loki's body sprawled out on the floor, motionless. "WHAT IS THIS BURING LIQUID!" Thor shouted, Steve and Tony ignoring him and rushing to Loki's side.

"He's not moving," Steve panicked

"I can see the Cap'n" Tony stared in disbelieve

"He's not breathing!" Steve shouted

Tony pushed Steve aside "I got this" he placed his hands on top of each other and pumped on Loki's chest. "Come on," he held Loki's noise forcing air into his mouth with his "Come on," he repeated the process. Thor, now somewhat recovered, looked on at his brother's lifeless body. Tony grabbed Loki's noise again, breathing harder into his month. When Loki gagged throwing up soap and water into Tony's mouth and onto the floor.

"Gross!" Tony spit and spat out the liquid. Loki crouched down on his side coughing violently. Thor pulling him up and patting him on the back. "There there brother." Loki threw up more water and soap.

After the ordeal, to say Pepper was livid, would be a gross understatement. She had just bought that new washer. "What on earth happened here!" she surveyed the disaster zone "I'm pretty sure the instructions were pretty clear" she snapped at the sullen group. Thor spoke up bravely "Forgive us Miss Pots, but the creature attacked my brother." Pepper, who had just noticed how traumatized Loki had looked all balled up in blankets, sitting next to Thor, so closely you would have thought they were conjoined

Pepper placed a hand to her forehead and let out a deep sigh "It's ok, I'll just have to make my instructions more clear next time."

New Instructions:

Washier:  
1) Separate the lighter clothes from the darker clothes. If washed together your darker clothes will fade onto your lighter ones.  
2) Put clothes into machine and hit 'start' button. All the machines are pre-set, you don't even have to add soap.  
3) When the machine is done it will turn off be itself. Load usually takes about 28 to 30 minutes.

Tips:  
Do NOT put your uniforms in the washers, they mess up your clothes, this means you Thor, we can't afford to buy another washer  
Do NOT put weapons in the washer, it will only break the machine.  
Do NOT use the bleach PERIOD.

Sidenote: If someone else's clothes are in the washer please place them in the dryer, I'm talking to you Tony.  
Sidenote: THE WASHIER DOES MAKE A NOISE WHEN IT IS DONE. THIS IS NORMAL IT IS NOT TRYING TO HARM YOU. PLEASE DO NOT ATTACK.

Dryer:  
1). Place wet load from washer into drum and it 'start'. Just like the washer the time is present and usually takes about 60 minutes to complete.  
2) The machine will cut off when it is finished

Tips:  
Refer to the first two tips in the washer section  
If you want your clothes to be softer, you may place ONE dryer sheet in the machine. The dryer sheets are in the box labeled dryer sheets on the rake in front of the dryer.

Thanks  
-Pepper P.

 

***  
Stay tuned for more!


	2. Laser Pointers

After the whole wash room ordeal Loki had finally gathered up the courage to start cleaning house again. Just in time too, Tony was gearing up for another one of his outrageous parties. "I want this house spotless Lok" Tony shouted from the other room, Loki rolled his eyes "It's Loki, Stark and if I am not mistaken Miss Pots his assigned each of us a task to do."

Tony put on his dress coat, bagel in mouth "Yeah, yeah, just don't flood the place." Tony ducked out just in time to miss the death glare on Loki's face.

Steve, Clint, and Natasha were all out running errands. Thor was in his room sleeping like a baby, he had be up all night trying to figure out how to use the lawn mower and Bruce was downstairs in the lab. Loki's job was to clean the den floors and carpets, easy enough. They just needed to be vacuumed, washed, and the hard wood floors waxed. Four hours later and after some confusing with the waxier, Loki had completed his job. He lay on the couch sprawled out like a dog and exhausted. Surveying his good work, which was not bad considering it was is first time. Suddenly a red dot dashed quickly across the floor. Loki sprung up, eying the dot curiously. The dot dashed across the carpet again, but stopped in the middle of the floor. Loki looked around to see if it was some kind of trick or illusion. He approached the dot slowly, but when he got too close it jumped back.

"Oh no you don't," Loki growled and proceeded to chase the dot around the room.

The dot moved and twirled in circles, jumping on walls and off objects. When it finally rested on the black leather couch in the den. Loki hunched down "I've got you now" he sprung up and jumped on the couch, sliding down and falling to the floor. He rubbed his head, checking his hands for the dot, but it wasn't there.

"W-what?" Loki looked around.

When suddenly the dot appeared on his leg. Loki looked at his leg in horror, scooting back has fast as he could. The dot moved slowly up his leg, making circles around his thigh.

"Get off you, despicable demon!" Loki swiped at his leg. Then out of no where two more dots appeared on his thigh making their way up to his groin. Frighten, Loki panicked crawling away on his stomach, from the dots, on his leg. He looked back in horror, only to see that a group of six dots were now all dancing on his butt. "THOR-THOR!" Loki screamed.

Tony, Clint, and Natasha burst out in laughter in Tony's lab. They watched as Thor came thundering into the den, smacking Loki's butt like a manic.

"Pinky promise, hahahahahahaha haha" Tony struggled to keep his laughter in control "We are never telling Loki about this."

"Deal" Natasha and Clint said between giggles

"Sir please stop using my laser pointers to torment your housemates," JARVIS chimed in, the group continued to laugh

****  
Loki's going to need some ice on that butt lolz more chapters to come  
Sorry if this one is a little short ^__^;


	3. Paper Weight

Steve walked down the hall in Stark’s mansion, he was on his way to his room. He needed to pick up his sketch book. He wanted to get in a few sketches of the boats out at sea before they moved. He turned the corner, he could hear Clint and Natasha fighting about something. As he was about to pass Nat’s room when something pink caught his eye. It was a magenta dildo. Steve jumped back like a house wife who saw a mouse. At that moment Clint came out of Natasha’s room.

“Aw come on Nat, I just thought-” the archer sighed. He saw the dildo “Oh sorry Cap.” And picked it up. Clint placed in back in the box and set it on the table in the hallway. “It’s all yours if you want it.” Clint joked and walked off

Steve stood there, he thought he could feel his eye twitch. He did even want to know why Clint had one of those and what it had to do with Natasha. Oh gosh, the images in his mind, he decided he would sketch some other day, a good work out in the gym would do just fine. He turned heel and ran right into Loki.

“Oh sorry Loki” Steve immediately apologized

“It’s quite alright,” Loki stepped back “I was following too close.” Loki looked past Steve, at the box on the table. “Who placed that there?” He and Steve looked

Steve looked away nervously, he wasn’t sure if Clint wanted everyone to know about is private business “Ah, it’s yours if you want it.” And quickly rushed down the hall.

Loki looked back at Steve and shrugged. He walked up to the small box with the dildo in it. “PaperMate: Deluxe, hmmm” Loki turned the box over “For your pleasure.” The rest of the writing was reviews. Loki had just got a desk so he could use a paper weight. He took the pink object out of the box and was shocked to find that it was shaped like a penis “Oh gosh,” he rolled his eyes. He was sure this wasn’t Steve’s, more than likely Tony or Clint gave it to him as a prank. Loki had over heard that the Captain had not taken any bed partners, but this was ridiculous. He sighed, though vulgar as it was it was heavy and would make a fine paper weight. He rubbed his fingers down the shaft, it felt like soft rubber and bended a little. He felt the base, it had something stiff or hard in the middle, but it was probably there for support. He placed it back in the box and headed for his room.

Later that week Tony was working on installing surround sound in all the rooms. So that no mater where he went he could have quality entertainment. He knocked at Loki’s door, which was open, Loki looked up.

“Stark,” Loki placed his pen down

Tony was about to say something when he noticed the bright pink dildo on his desk, a top a stack of papers “What the hell is that?” Tony looked horrified, like he wanted to know what the god did at night. He guessed that god weren’t ashamed about these types of things.

Loki looked around his desk “The paper weight?”

Tony walked closer “The paper what??”

Loki picked up the long rubber dildo “This.”

Tony looked at him like a damn fool, are you serious he thought “Yeah that.”

Loki sighed, obviously Tony had not seen a penis shaped paper weight. He couldn’t blame him, neither had Loki “It’s my PaperMate Deluxe paper weight.”

Tony was even more confused “They make-” he pointed at the thing “I thought they only made pens!?” Tony was starting to get the feeling Loki didn’t know what it was.

“Yes I suppose, I found it outside of Clint’s room, Steve said I could have it.”

Tony choked “Steve? Clint?” now he really didn’t want to know. He thought about telling Loki what it really was, but he didn’t want to be the sorry soul to tell the god that he was using a probably used dildo as a paper weight. “Ah yeah, of course.”

Loki placed the toy down. “Was there something that you needed?”

“Ah….no not really.” Tony turned to walk away “Have fun with your dildo-” shit he didn’t mean to call it that.

“Dildo?” Loki asked

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” Tony walked away.

Loki thought about the word, dildo. It was probably some slang for vulgar things like this. He shrugged and went back to making his shopping list.

Loki was up late reading a book on his Kindle, Thor had got for him. Thor had boasted that it was the gateway to a million books, Loki didn’t believe him at first. Though he hated to admit it Thor was right. Loki read tons of books everyday and since he was naturally good at languages his library options were wide open. He was just getting into AVI’s children series, Poppy about the talking mice when he remembered he had an email to send his penpal. He reached for the letter he wrote on paper under his paper weight. When grabbed the toy it started to vibrate. Loki released it immediately and it bounced and hopped around the table, emitting a low buzz. He was more shocked than horrified. This was where the pleasurable part came from no doubt. Loki, no matter how hard he looked, could never find what was so ‘pleasurable’ about it. He picked it up again, touching it in random places. The vibrations increased, Loki was startled a little bit, but he touched it again. Rising the vibration levels up more.

Tony, Bruce, and Thor were in the small break room on Tony’s lab floor when Loki came bursting in with the pink dildo in hand.

Tony face palmed “For goodness sakes,”

Bruce had take a double take. And Thor just smiled.

“Look Stark! It vibrates!” Loki turned the vibrations up and down.

For Tony this was too much “For the love off-” he wished he just sneaked in and took the damn think when Loki was out.

“What is that brother?” Thor didn’t want to say what he thought it looked like.

“It is a dildo paper weight,” Loki said proudly, handing it to Thor.

Bruce laughed so hard he thought he was going to Hulk out.

Tony made a face, this was just awkward.

“Very nice brother, though why is it shaped like a penis?” Thor held the thing in his hand as it vibrated.

Loki shrugged “Steve said I could have it.”

Bruce looked at Tony and Tony face palmed.

“It’s Steve’s?!” Bruce sounded shocked

Loki shrugged again, taking back his toy “Or Clints”

“Or Clints!??” Bruce started to laugh again, this was too much, if he heard anymore he really was going to Hulk out. He grabbed his papers and patted Tony on the back. “Good luck buddy.” And walked out.

“It’s magenta,” Loki explained to Thor

Tony looked at Loki “You named it!!!”

Loki rolled his eyes “No, of course not. That’s the color” Loki shook his head, why was he so shy about this, it was his Midgardian citizens who made the penis shaped paper weight.

After Loki and Thor left the break room, Tony decided to get to the bottom of this. He asked JARVIS where Clint was and headed in the direction the AI gave him. Why the hell was Clint or Steve leaving freaking dildos around the house. He found the archer in the kitchen with Natasha. At this point Tony didn’t care how embarrassing it was, he was asking him no matter what.

“What the hell is up with the pink dildo Clint???” Tony stood at the door

Clint and Natasha looked at each other. “Oh that,” Clint suddenly remembered “ I bought it for Nat.”

She punched him in the arm.

“Owww, I said I was sorry.” Clint pouted “I told Steve he could have and left it in the hallway.”

Natasha rolled her eyes.

Tony took a seat at the table “So it wasn’t used?”

Clint grinned at Nat who gave him a death glare “No, sadly.”

Tony breathed a sigh of relief, at least Loki wasn’t using a used sex toy as a paper weight. Back in Loki’s room, the raven haired prince was thinking about getting another paper weight. Magenta was a pretty color but it wasn’t his color. He liked how the one he had vibrated, though he didn’t care for the shape. Though it would be funny to buy another penis shaped one. He asked JARVIS to put the word ‘dildo’ into his computer’s Google search engine.

“Thank you JARVIS” Loki smiled

“You’re welcome sir.” JARVIS chimed

Loki searched through the results, “Hmmm, how to use your dildo probably.” He wasn’t aware that was an improper way to use a paper weight, so he clicked on the video link. About five minutes in Loki shut down the computer “For Odin’s sake!!!!!!!”

Everyone was in the den watching a movie, while Steve made dinner. From out of nowhere Tony was struck by a long pink object. Tony flinched as the thing bounced of his face.

“What the fu-” Tony wiggled his arms the dildo fell to the floor, Tony looked at the offensive thing “For the love of-”

But Loki cut him off “Stark! Why didn’t you tell me what that think was use for!!!! That’s just sick!!!” he yell and stormed away.

Tony sat there mouth open, this wasn’t even his fault. Bruce and Clint burst out laughing. Natasha rolled her eyes. Thor looked confused, but amused. Steve peeked into the den and saw the pink dildo and blushed.

Later that night…

Loki sneaked into the den, he looked around for the tiny little pink dildo. “I didn’t mean to throw you my sweet, you might come in handy tonight.” He grinned

***  
:3 It’s felts good to be writing for this series again. XD Hope you enjoyed my latest chapter! More to come if I'm in the mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't technically chapter three, I'm in the middle of transferring work from FF.net and I wanted to re-read everything before I posted here. However I was suddenly in the mod to write a new chapter!
> 
> This is suppose to be chapter 9, but it doesn't matter the order =)
> 
> Enjoy.


	4. Driving

“Put her in park, and that’s about it.” Tony looked over to Steve, who looked like he was about the retch. “Breath buddy, you’ll get the hang of it.”

Steve opened to door, stumbling out “Tony, you almost ran over a kitten” he slammed the door

“Almost!” Tony shouted. But Steve ignored him walking back into the house.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Tony put his keys on the table, “Don’t be like that.” But Steve continued to ignore him “Steve, Steve I’ll let you drive next time” but he heard a door slam and that was the end of their conversation. Tony sighed, heading to the bar, where a certain god of mischief was sitting.

“Driving lessons did not go as planned?” Loki looked up from his magazine.

“Eh,” Tony poured himself a drink.

“You know,” Loki flashed those big green eyes “I would make a far more interesting driving student. Not to mention I am a fast learner.”

Tony thought for a moment, pouring himself another drink “Eh, why not, what’s the worst that could happen.”

Loki shot down the road like a bat out of hell, running over bushes, hitting two trash cans, and four mail boxes. Tony didn’t like the idea of Loki driving one of his nicer cars, so he let Loki drive one of his fixer uppers, problem was, Tony forgot to refill the break fluid. Now Loki was holding on to the steering wheel for dear life.

“STARK HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS THING STOP!!!!” Loki shouted at the top of his lungs, just barely messing the man bicycling on the road.

Tony looked back at the man, apparently Loki had clipped him just a bit and the man was now rolling down the street. Tony laughed “Sorry! Ah, buddy watch out for that-”

“ODIN HAVE MERCY!!!!” Loki swayed onto the sidewalk trying to avoid the turtle crossing the road and he hit two more mail boxes, bringing his mail box blunders to six.

“Loki, Loki! Hit the breaks!” Tony pointed half amused

“I AM, OH SON OF ODIN I AM!” Loki cried out, but now Loki was coming to a red light where there was an elderly woman attempting to cross the street.

Tony held up his arms, across has face “HOLY SHIAAT!!” he spelt his drink all over himself. Loki screamed, giving the wheel a hard turn to the left. The car just barely missed the old lady, doing three flips in the air before landing in a shallow pond.

Tony opened his eyes, still rattled from the adrenalin rush, “Wow Loki, I gotta take you out driving more!.”

Loki opened up the door, retching hard.


	5. Alarm Clocks

"GOOOOOOD MORNING NEW YORK! THIS IS THUNDER D-" Loki slammed his hand on the off button. Every morning without fail, the digital time teller would come on, with some annoying man named Thunder D "Curse his mortal soul." Loki pulled the covers over his head.

When Loki had finally got up, it was already half past noon, he cursed under his breath. He had over slept again, for the fourth time this week. It was that annoying Thunder D and all that gosh awful alternative rock. He showered and dressed and stormed into the kitchen. "Tony, you must tell me how to shut off this infernal talking time teller."

Tony turned around "Time teller?" he had to think for a second "Oh, you mean your alarm clock."

Loki walked over to the counter, took two slices of bread and plopped them into the toaster "Whatever, it is called it disturbs me." the toast popped up, that's when Thor entered to the room. "It wakes me with its ear cracking noise." Loki pulled out a jar of blueberry jam "And if I hear the song Seven Nation Army one more time, I'm going to show this pathetic realm the true power of an army."

Tony laughed lightly; taking a sip of his coffee "I'll take care of it" He took another sip, watching Thor take a piece of Loki's breakfast.

"PRESIDENT OBAMA IS COSTING AMERICANS BILLIONS, GAS PRICES ARE SKY ROCKETING-" Loki turned over in bed "what is Odin's name-" he muttered sheepishly "LOOK THE TRUTH IS AMERICAN, WE NEED I NEW LEADER, WE NEED THE TEA-" Loki knocked the clock off the table.

"Stark, what in Odin's name is an Obama and why does Tea Party want him out." Loki looked truly confused, holding tightly to his breakfast. Bruce, who was in the kitchen this morning, looked up from his paper.

Tony raised an eyebrow "Politics not your thing?" looking at the bewildered god, Bruce let out a small laugh.

"No, change it at once!" Loki placed down his plate, barely noticing Thor sneaking in and snatching another piece of his breakfast.

"READ A BOOK, READ A BOOK, READ A MOTHINGBEEPING BOOK. NOT A MAGAZINE-" Loki, startled from sleep, ripped the alarm clock out from the wall "Oh gosh!"

This time the whole house could hear Loki storming down the halls. He flew into the kitchen, clock in hand, and throw it at Tony. Who ducked just in time, but Steve was not so lucky.

Not even apologizing Loki began with his rant "DAMN IT TONY! TAKE IS GASILY THING! I DON'T WANT TO LAY EYES ON THIS THING AGAIN." He huffed, now noticing poor Steve leaning on the counter holding his head and Tony desperately trying to contain a laugh.

"I'm sorry Steven, that was meant for Tony." Loki glared so hard at the man of iron.

Steve waved it off, silently accepting the other's apology. Tony finished up is cup and placed it on the counter "So you're not into rock, talk radio, or rap." Tony threw up some weird finger signs "What are you into?"

Loki thought for a minute, taking a bite of his jam covered toast "I don't know, the sound of the ocean perhaps, or even maybe the sound of a falling water fall." Loki took another bite, this time noticing Thor sneaking up behind him to grab the other slice "Back away you vile beast!" Loki raised his fork, stabbing Thor in the hand.

"GAHHHHHH!" Thor bellowing, pulling his hand back quick, nursing the four little puncture wounds.

Tony, amused at the scene taking place, poured himself another cup of the dark substance "Alright, I think I understand now." Loki looked for signs of trickery in the shorter man's eyes, seeing nothing, but still weary of the grin on the man's face. Loki nodded, finished up his breakfast and carried on with his normal errands. Tony looked over at a teary eyed Thor, "Hey bubby, could you help me with something?" Thor popped up, still licking at his sore hand.

The floor rumbled, and the sound of loud thunder radiated from Loki's room, so loud that it made even the super calm super shooter Clint jump. "What the hell was that?" Clint jerked around.

Tony, who was dressed his full armor "Wait for it-"

"TOONYYYY!"

Tony flipped down his face plate.

Tony woke up several hours later, in a hazy fog, Clint, Bruce, and Steve standing over him. Steve sighing in relief, Bruce shaking his head, and Clint smiling like he stole something.

"Was it worth it?" Clint asked.

Tony nodding his head "Totally," he said with a toothy smile.


	6. Toy Dogs

Thor picked at the control pad Tony had placed on his work table, flipping switches on and off. "Stop that!" Tony snapped, taking the controller from him "You'll break it." Thor apologized, flashing those baby blues.

Thor hand been begging Tony for a pet for weeks, seeing how Loki was not the affectionate returning type the thunder god needed to get his love from somewhere. So being the super genies, playboy, billionaire that he was he found the perfect solution. "It's done!" Tony spun around holding a little silver robot that looked like a dog.

"What is this machine?" Thor poked at it, half amazed half surprised.

Tony lifted the mechanical dog in the air "This, is the answer to all our problems." he picked up the control pad and placed the little dog on the floor "It gives you the pet you've always wanted and gives me the ultimate peace of mind not having to worry about my carpets." Tony turned the robotic dog on.

"Bark Bark!" the machine wigged its tail.

Thor's face lit up like lightening "This is amazing!" he bent down and petted the creature.

"Bark Bark!" its metal tongue stuck out.

Thor played happily with the thing, when he suddenly realized it was cold and while shaped like a dog, didn't really look like one at all "Stark, would it be possible to fashion Lightening some fur?"

Tony turned around "I got you covered buddy" He pulled out some blonde fur.

It took Tony the rest of the evening to explain to Thor how the controls worked and he was still not completely convinced the blonde haired god knew what he was doing. Oh well, he'd clocked in his time, it was Thor's problem now.

Thor thundered through the halls happily, Lightening in tot. He wanted to show his friends what Tony had made for him, but it would seem that everybody was out, even Loki was gone. So the thunder god decided to take a nap and set Lightening on auto pilot. Then went off for his nap.

The little metal dog wandered around the building for hours, before resting his batteries on the couch. Loki was the first to come home. He had been out all day, shopping in search of the perfect pair of socks. He placed his bags on the counter, walking over to the den, plopping on the couch. When he noticed a sleeping animal on the couch.

He stared at the creature, looking around to see if its' owner was nearby "Well hi there little fella." Loki reached out his thin arm. The dog opened its eyes, Loki smiled.

The control panel lit up to inform the user that someone was interacting with the dog, it beeped repeatedly. Thor pushed it away, still sleepy.

"Bark! Bark!" Lightening perked up. Loki smiled petting the creature on its head, "Awww, you are by far the cutest canine creature I have ever encountered."

Beep. Beep. Beep. Thor groaned, looking at the control panel, the buttons flashing too brightly for the sleepy god.

"That's right," Loki rubbed the dog's belly "Who's a good four leg it creature."

A big red light lit up on the control panel, Thor covered his eyes at first, but then some words began flashing across a little screen. "What is this?" he pressed the button, vaguely remembering something important Tony had said about it.

The robotic dog turned on his tummy, giving Loki the cutest puppy eyes he had ever seen. Loki reached over and picked up the dog, he was a little heavier then he thought, but he was more than capable of holding the extra weight. He walked into the kitchen in search of a treat for his new friend.

Thor read the massage twice; to confirm what he was seeing was correct. His furry new friend has found a compatible companion. Though Thor did find it a little odd that his new robotic friend had found a mate so soon, he thought nothing of it and hit the big red button.

Loki pulled out some slices of chicken, looking happily at his wagging friend "Bark! Bark! I like you!" Loki looked down in shock that his new friend could talk and was talking to him "Bark! Bark! Let's go to bed together!" Loki smiled again, laughing at the dog that appeared to be hitting on him. "Woof! Woof! Right now! Right now!" Loki bent down and handed the puppy some chicken "Woof! I mean it!" The dog's eyes let up, taking a few steps forward. Loki turned around, dropping the chicken.

"OH SWEET ODIN!" Thor jumped up when he heard his brother's scream. Hammer in hand he ran into the kitchen and to his horror his new furry pal was trying to lay his brother

"NO LIGHTENING NO!"

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose "I'm never making you another thing again." Thor sat there pouting, holding what was left of his fury pal, Loki sitting next to him shaking, trying to cover himself with whatever was left of his robes.


	7. Coffee and Brain Freezes

The den was a mess covered in Odin knows what, gook dripping from the walls making puddles on the floor. Thor was passed out, Steve was desperately trying to walk on the slippery floors in the kitchen and Loki was standing in front of the TV dressed only in a dirtied t-shirt and underwear. Tony looked at his home in horror; Steve slipped falling hard on the kitchen floor "What on Earth happened here!"

Seven hours earlier...

Loki had gotten up early to do this yoga thing that Pepper had been talking about, he was told it was very relaxing. He walked into the kitchen to fill up a bottle of water then walked into the den to set up his green yoga mat. The program started promptly at ten, so that gave the dark haired god a little time to stretch and get comfortable.

Thor, who was also up early this morning, came thundering in like he usually did making all the noise in all the nine realms trying to fix breakfast. Loki turned around a little annoyed "Could you make any more noise." he hissed

Thor peeked over the wall divider "Good morning Brother." his voice radiated from the kitchen

Loki rolled his eyes, "Brother, please could you be a little quieter?" Loki spread his legs and stretched, he could hear Thor trying to using the toaster from where he'd been sitting.

Thor walked in with a smores flavored pop tart in hand, just now noticing the limited amount of clothes Loki was wearing "Brother, I can see your legs."

Loki, who was now doing lounges, looking distastefully at his brother "Thank you brother, I was not aware."

Thor took another bite of his chocolate marshmallow treat "And your trousers are so short, leaves not much to the imagination."

Loki jerked around, unconsciously pulling down his short sea foam green shorts "I'll have you know, Thor, that this is the proper attire to wear when preforming yoga."

Thor looked at his slim brother, he was bare feet in short shorts and a white tee shirt that was a little too short for his frame and inched up every time the younger lifted his arms "Yoga? Where is this technique?"

Loki turned around "I don't know Thor, I have not started it yet."

Taking this as an inviting to join, Thor quickly left the room. Returning in a skin tight pair of black shorts and a muscle tight black shirt "I will join you then."

Loki's jaw dropped, the outfit hugged the blonde's body perfectly, bringing out those amazing muscles and hugging his tight butt "Well if you must." Loki looked away

The time was drawing closer, and Loki mindlessly flipped through the hundreds of channels on the moving portal box.

"Ah Loki, I think you passed it." Thor pointed at the screen

Loki snorted "I think I know how to operate the television device." not paying attention he turned to Zumba. A group of women appeared on the screen.

_"Welcome everybody! I'm Mane'e Yoga and I'll be teaching your class today, stay toned the next two hours are going to really get you in the best shape of your life!"_

Loki looked at Thor "See, she said Yoga." holding his head up high

Thor scratched his head and shrugged, getting into place.

The class started and the instructor was shooting out commands and motioning the class to follow her. Loki and Thor followed religiously, shaking and twisting their hips, jogging in place, and moving their arms up and down.

This continued on for what seemed like hours and finally the two were given a break. Thor and Loki slumped over in a panting fit. "Having trouble keeping up brother?" Thor placed his hands on his knees.

"Are you not the one, face bearing to the ground." Loki retorted chugged back the water from his water bottle.

Thor reached up and stretched "Nye brother, this is just my stretching position." Loki looked Thor over, his was a hot mess, his hair sticking to his face, creeks red, still catching his breath. Loki had to laugh.

The dark skinned woman appeared on the TV again for the second half of the class. Words were flashing on the screen, followed by a pickup in the bet. The Zumba instructor had them working muscles in their body they didn't even know existed. They were jumping like beans and shaking it on the floor. Though hard to keep up with at times, they both found it oddly relaxing. Loki couldn't remember the last time he had perspired this much, while actually enjoying it. The class was now on its second break, the last hour was power Zumba, so there was a twenty break given.

This time both of them were on the floor panting. Loki was flipping his shirt up and down desperately trying to cool himself down. Thor was relaxing on his back, with his arm covering his face. "Brother, I cannot remember the last time I worked so hard with you."

Loki stretched his legs "Ay," he was feeling more drained than he cared to admit, the water was just not enough to put back the nutrients he was losing. "Say brother, what is that dark liquid that keeps Anthony so active?"

Thor had to think for a second "Oh, Oh! Coffee, it is a brew made from little brown beans that give you energy. Would you like for me to make you some?" Loki nodded, giving a tired smile.

The two walked into the kitchen, glancing back every now and then to check the time. "How long will this take? We have not much time." Loki looked over the little black machine.

"Not long brother," Thor said, who was still getting use to operating the machine pushed and flicked buttons on. Luckily for them they did not have to add the coffee beans or water just select which beverage they desired.

"Quickly choose one that takes the least amount of time," Loki watched Thor read over the drink selections. "Here, I see one, 3x Espresso E+" Loki pointed "Choose this one, it's the express."

Thor followed the finger "Ah good choice, surely the express will not take as long." Thor hit the button, ordering two large 3x Espresso's with extra Energy. The drinks were ready in a matter of minutes.

Loki looked at the drink, they were steaming hot and while Thor chugged it back Loki decided he liked his drinks chilled. He quickly used his magic to cool it down and shot back his drink.

The class was into its last half and once again the scene changed and the music picked up. This time though, Thor noticed the hike in Loki's performance. Despite Thor's best efforts to keep up, Loki not only matched the instructor's speed but surpassed it. He jumped, jogged, run in place harder than the thunder god had ever seen him. Loki was a little ball of energy and this amused Thor to no end.

"Brother, you seem to be taking a liking to this class." Thor glanced over, shaking his hair out of his face.

"Yeah, yeeup, sure am." Loki mimicked the punching motions of the screen. Thor smiled, feeling satisfied at his brother's satisfaction. The class soon came to an end. "So hey Thor, hey Thor, Thor."

Thor plopped on the couch "Yes brother?"

Loki jumped right on the couch beside him "Let's do another one, another one!" he shook Thor's arm.

"Nye brother, I am wiped out, as they say." He laughed then smiled

Steve walked in, curiously looking at the two gods. Loki frowned "Aww, ok, ok, you sure? You're sure. I'm going to try another one. You have to watch me." Loki jumped up off the couch nearly falling over himself when he landed, he changed the channel to another class. This time it was a boot camp class.

"Watch brother, watch." Loki jumped right into the military styled class.

"Alright brother," Thor smiled. Loki was kicking and punching and doing pushups like a trained professional. Steve walked over, leaning on the couch "What's got into him?"

"He has taken an interest in your Midgardian work out classes." Thor watched his brother do what looked like kick boxing

Steve nodded, before taking a seat next to Thor. They both watched as Loki beat the crap out of boot camp, he looked like one of the athletes in the Gatorade commercials. Sweat coming from every pour, hair moving wildly across his face, his muscles putting in over time. After an hour of boot camp, Loki finally settled down into doing crunches on the floor.

"Hey Thor." Loki lent up "Hey Thor." Down again

"Yes brother," Thor was grateful for the cool air circulating through the room.

Up again "Hey Steve." He finally greeted going back down. Steve waved

Loki lent up, staying up this time "Hey Thor." he eyes darted around the room "I'm hot. I'm going to fix me another drink. More of the express coffee, that was good. Taste like dirt but I like it. Be right back." But before Thor could protest his brother had already darted in the kitchen.

He came back moments later with three cups of coffee and a bucket of ice. "It's too hot. It's always too hot. Too hot the drink Thor." the words were coming out much faster than the blonde haired god could understand.

"Hey, Loki there's a blender in the kitchen, you could use." Steve pointed out

"Really. Blender." by now Loki had gone back into the kitchen and made four more large espresso drinks, he shouted from the other room "How. How do you use it? How do I get this machine to blend ice and-Never mine."

Steve and Thor could hear the sound of the blender being turned on and turned on again, and two more times after that. Steve, who seemed a little more alarmed by the constant sound of the blender got up motioning to Thor to the kitchen, who looked like he was ready to sleep.

The following events took place from 1pm to 4pm. The kitchen was a mad house, the coffee machine was on blast and was now spewing out hot coffee all over the floor. Loki was running around the kitchen holding his head, cursing something in Asgardian. Thor chased after him, slipping and sliding on the wet floor. "ODIN HAVE MERCY MY HEAD HAS TURNED TO ICE." Loki tripped over one of the chairs, hitting the ground hard. He groaned, as his brain freeze subsided.

Somehow Loki had managed to find the other two coffee machines in the large kitchen and were raving out of control. Steve shrieked, Thor rushed to help his brother on the floor and contain the dark liquid mess. The thunder god slipped however completely messing his target and crashed into the juice machine causing that to go hay wire as well. The whole kitchen looked like a scene out of a Ben Stiller movie. Syrup and juices blasting everywhere into Thor's face, burning his eyes. Loki, at a lost for what to do, struggled of the floor, took off his shorts and began slapping Thor in the face to dry him.

Which made the situation a lot worst, now the thunder god was temporally blinded and being assaulted by a pair of sweaty shorts. The blonde flailed his arms in the air running into chairs, slipping on the floor. While Steve struggled to shut the machines off, he managed to shut off one. Thor panicked running out of the kitchen and right into door frame leading to the den. He was out cold. Loki freaked running towards his unconscious brother, dragging him to the den. Suddenly the kitchen erupted, coffee, syrup, and juice spewing everywhere.

"Oh dear." Loki turned around, the mess had extended to the den, Loki and Steve tried in vain to clean up the mess before the others got home.

It took four hours to get the mess cleaned up and even more time calling repairmen and ordering new drink machines and furniture. Tony stretched out on the floor in the den. All the sofas were far too gone to save. Tony punched Loki in the arm "never leaving you home alone again." But Loki's lips were too tired to form a retort. He was stretched out on his stomach, still in his underwear and shirt, the coffee had worn off he was experiencing the worst crash of his life.


	8. Cell Phones

Tony moved his thump across the smooth black screen, unlocking it "And that's pretty much everything." Handing the device Loki.

Loki took the device, eyeing it suspiciously, "This object captures photos and sends letters?"

"Yeah free texting, unlimited data, the works." Tony shrugged

Loki clicked on a few apps, "How do I change the background image?"

"Easy," Tony stood closer to the god, clicking and holding the desktop screen to navigate to the wallpaper options

Loki stared at the pictures of sunsets, animals, and plants with disinterest "How come on your screen there is a picture of you and Dr. Banner? I would like an image of me on my background."

Tony resisted the urge to laugh, staring into the god's face, he could tell that he was serious "Sure thing buddy." Tony pulled out his phone holding it up to take a picture.

"Wait!" Loki fidgeted with his hair, slicking it back and straightened his shirt "Now, I am ready."

Tony rolled his eyes and snapped the picture. Turning his phone around so that the god could see.

Loki eyed the picture, nodding "Now, how will I be able to put it on my back ground?"

Tony turned the phone back around, hit a few buttons and Loki's phone ringed BEEP BEEP BEEP

Loki jumped a little, and he hoped Tony didn't notice, he unlocked his phone and clicked on the little green smiley face. "Ah!" There was the picture and it was a rather nice one too. Tony showed him how to make the picture his background image and then he added all the Avengers to his contacts.

"Alright, you're all set. I'm on speed dial." the shorter man pointed to 1 "And so is Thor, if he figures out how to answer the phone. Text if you need anything." Tony left the room, leaving the curious god to play with his new toy.

Loki texting Clint

hrw do youget it chang ringer/

_What?_

Why doesthis sa clInt

_Loki, is everything ok? This is Clint?_

Oops , wrong person

Loki texting Thor

Brother!

_Hello? Brother? Are you in danger_  
Hello, I'll be there in a moment, let me grab my hammer.  
HANG IN THERE LOKI

Nvm I figured it out.

Loki texting Tony

Tony Ive jus learned txt spk. Like om(me) ROFL.  
Ive made a joke on myself, see "omg" - "Oh my Loki!" I am a god!

_Hahaha no_

Haters gonna Hate Stark

_XP_

Conversations like this continued for about a week before the green eyed god became bored of texting. "Thor, send me a picture of you so that I may add it to my contact list." Loki entered the room, punching buttons on his phone. Thor checked his pockets for his phone, but forgot he had left it in his room. "Brother I can-"

"It's okay," Loki raise his phone to Thor's face "I figured it out! Thor smile." Thor flashed the biggest smile he could muster and Loki took the picture. Usually seeing Thor this happy anytime would put Loki off but it was rather pleasant to see his brother's face, but he would never admit it. He cropped the picture and added the photo to Thor's contact.

Picture taking had become Loki's new favorite pass time, he would take pictures of everything then delete them. He thought about getting pictures of everyone for his contact list but decided taking awkward random pictures of everyone would be more fun. He caught Clint leaving the bathroom one morning in a black tank top and boxers. He got Natasha bending down picking up a quarter, in short work out shorts. This picture would serve him well in the future, if he needed anything from the archer.

Catching Steve was easy, pretty much anything the striped avenger did was awkward and funny. It was hard trying to choose from the photos he took of him. The horned god finally settled on one of the captain slipping on some coffee he spilt. Getting Tony was surprisingly easier than he thought as well. Loki had snuck in his lab one night, finding the playboy sleeping on his workbench like a baby, with a puddle of drool forming around his mouth.

Capturing Fury was by far the hardest, the man always looked serious. No matter what, even doing the most mundane things. So Loki decided the one of the director at the grocery store looked best. Fury comparing cucumbers in the produce aisle was far too funny to pass up. He got Bruce in mid sneeze and chose a rather nice picture for Miss Potts and JARVIS was given one of those free background pictures. The one with the grass and the sky.

Everyone sat around laughing at the pictures Loki at took of them. Clint and Steve not so much and Loki didn't show Natasha hers, he may need it one day. Steve complained that he had wanted a picture just like Thor's, so Loki took another one of him. It came out really nice, but Loki had no intention of changing the current one.

The day ended with a nice dinner, everyone talking about their day and what their plans were for tomorrow. Tony, Clint, and Natasha had private press conference tomorrow. Steve and Bruce were heading out to Nevada to collect mineral samples and Thor who was off planned on seeing Jane. Loki didn't have any concrete plans and decided shopping wouldn't be a bad idea.

The raven haired god woke up around twelve for a day on the town, everyone had already left by the he woke up. He received a total of fifty messages from Thor explaining that he would be out of town for a few days. Somehow, with in the past couple of days, Thor had decided sending one word at a time was a "better" idea and thus fifty messages. He rolled his eyes and deleted the messages. He left and bought a new pair of black leather boots, a film on planet Earth, and small decorative chocolate cake. -snap- He took a picture of one of the cakes that had the Avengers logo on it, he decided he would send it to the team when he got home.

Loki tossed his bags on the table, kicked off his boots, and headed for the shower. He grabbed his phone and turned on his Pandora to the opera station, letting the soothing music fill the room. -BEEP BEEP BEEP- He stepped out of the hot shower and picked up his phone. -snap snap- He looked at the phone but saw nothing but a black picture, deleted it and clicked out of application and looked at the message. It was from Thor, he had sent him a picture of a small child dressed as him standing next to a dog dressed has Loki. The caption said "Look Brother! We play together!" Loki sent a smiley face back saying something about how cute it was. He then thought about the picture of the small cake he had took and decided to click the option of sending the last picture he took to Thor and rest of the Avengers. He smiled to himself, placed his phone down and went back to his steamy shower. A few seconds later -BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP- Loki turned off the shower, grabbing a towel drying his hair. They must have really liked his picture, their responses were very quick. He opened his phone.

_From Thor_   
_Brother that is nice, but I am curious as to why you are sending me this?_

_From Tony_   
_Nice._

_From Clint_   
_WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN!_

_From Natasha_   
_Wow. Just w-o-w_

_From Steve_   
_Loki! I did not need to see that!_

_From Bruce_   
_...thanks?_

Loki frowned at some off the responses; surely the little chocolate cake could not have upset them that much. Loki clicked on his gallery pulling up the last picture he took and to his horror it was a picture of him fully nude from the chin down to his ankles. His body hot and wet, red in places he never thought possible, length hanging limp on his thigh. He threw his phone out of the window, but not before destroying it first.

~TBC

_Text from Tony_  
Dude are we sharing?  
You still there? Because I got some pictures that would BLOW your mind ;)  
Loki?


	9. Amusement Parks

The avengers were on route to a much needed team vacation. After battling an international spy organization the team, felt completely drained and stressed out. Believe it or not Fury actually suggested they take a break, which might have something to do with the boat loads of press conferences coming up. Apparently, blowing up several buildings and landing jet powered helicopters on residential streets was a no no. It had to be done though; evil doesn't care about collateral damage and would probably wage war on Christmas out of spite.

The team plus a hand full of SHIELD agents were gathered up and on route to a small amusement park on the east coast. King's land, Phil called it. Agent Coulson had been there before and said it was a blast. It was suppose to be two parks in one or something like that. Regardless the director had rented out the whole park for their pleasure. So they were free to enjoy the park with out all the lines.

"I still do not understand the concept of 'Amusement Parks'" Loki asked, he eyed the ticket booths. The entrance was nice and clean, the flags of America and the state flying proudly near the gates.

Tony flashed his token smile at one of the ticket women "There's nothing to understand. You go in, you ride rides, swim, eat, and go home." He looked back at Loki "It's a package deal."

Steve handed the woman his ticket "I remember they had something like this when I was a kid." he was really looking forward to this vacation. He's been dying to ride a roller coaster ever since he saw them on TV.

The group finally entered the park, taking in all the sights and smells. There was a huge fountain in between two sides of shops and a scale replica of the Eiffel tower near the end of the giant pool.

"Friends this place is like walking into another realm!" Thor proclaimed. The smell of the snacks and treats haling him. Even Loki was amazed how nice the placed looked, from the outside it was a sea of asphalt but inside was a whole different story.

Tony lowered his sunglasses around his tan face, done taking in the sights and turned and faced the group "Where to first?" The group looked around, Loki had opened his map, but the thing looked ridiculous and tossed it aside. "Right Left?" no one could decide honestly everything looked good, that's when Phil stepped in.

"How's it going guys?" they had never seen the man so happy

Steve turned around "We're at a stand still, what should we try first?"

They thought for sure they saw an evil grin on his face when he spoke "This way!" they all followed him warily.

The first attraction they came upon was a giant boat ride. It didn't look like it did much but move side to side, but Coulson insisted. The Agent stating that this would be a good warm up. The team filed into the line, there were a few other SHIELD agents in line eagerly waiting to ride the ride. The gates opened and the avengers took their seats in the middle of wooden boat. It sat five across and had eights rows and in the middle the two rows face each other. Loki, Thor, Clint, and Natasha squeezed into the first row and Tony, Bruce, Steve, and Phil crawled into the row in front of them.

The ride worker, shouted some words over the intercom, instructing them to raise their hands and lay their feet flat as the lap bar came down. Phil eyed the lap bar "Oh I forget about this part, boys brace yourselves." They looked at him trying to figure out the implications of the warning, but didn't need to think long as they felt the lap bar lower down and crash their man parts.

They all groaned, Tony shifted uncomfortably "I see what you mean." the playboy grunted. Finally the lap bar adjusted it's self and the men in the group could relax. Loki picked with his lap and chest restraints "I see no reason for such precautions, as this machine only mimics the motions of a real boat." he squirmed; he didn't appreciate the large heavily bars on his chest and thighs.

When the ride started, the team forgot all their complaints, the pirate themed boat swayed back and forth. Showering the team with the loveliest breeze they had ever felt. The ride was rather pleasant, inching them up higher and higher in the air, almost into a half circle.

Tony pointed to the parking lot "I can see the helicopters from here!" he shouted, as the ride continuing to ascend

Loki looked around warily "If I did not know any better, I would say that this thing means to-"

"HOLYSHIT WE'RE UPSIDE DOWN!" Tony shouted, holding to his shoulder restraints on for dear life. The ride held them at a full 180 degrees.

"ARE THEY MAD!" Loki shouted, grabbing desperately to Thor's hand

Phil clung to the ride with a fierceness in his eyes the group had never seen "Wait for it-waaait for it..." the boat finally swung down, the feeling of falling and the blood rushing back to their bodies was exhilarating. Tony, Loki, and Thor shouted for dear life. Clint and Natasha braced their shoulder restraints, making the most amusing face. Bruce began meditation, to keep the other guy at bay. Steve thought he had an organism from the adrenaline rush and Phil hollered a ear crackling battle cry.

When the ride was done, the avengers waddled off, "LAND!" Loki and Tony shouted, Thor held his own, though his legs were clearly shaking. Steve jumped off the ride "Another!" Tony could fell his eye twitch so the team let him and Phil run off to the next attraction. The rest of them were eager to hit the pool.

They could not have picked a better day to go to an amusement park, it was around 90 degrees but the humidity was low so that made it nice outside. The sky was clear and there even was a light breeze every now and then. The theme park sported a nice water park too, this is what they meant by two in one. It had a ton of water slides, two wave pools, and a lazy river. The team was amazed, especially the gods there was nothing like this in Asgard.

Natasha changed into a black bikini, followed by Clint in black and purple checkered trucks. Tony had to do a double take when he saw the female assassin strut by. Thor and Loki weren't aware you needed swimming clothes to get in the water, so they bought trunks at one of the little shops near by. Loki looked through the racks of swimming garments. They all looked too big for him, so he moved to a rack of underwear shaped ones in the back.

Thor ripped through the shop "Brother, look what I have found!" he modeled his light blue trunks with little lightening bolts on it. Loki looked him over "That's nice brother, but wait till you see my suit!" He quickly darted off to the man's dressing room.

Tony had sported a dark blue cotton tank top with the word 'Murica' on it and a pair of red trunks with little Iron Men on it, because he could. Bruce wore khaki trunks, with a white t-shirt. The two walked over to Thor who was talking to a hot dark hair woman. Her skin was fair and she had it going on in the back with her green bikini bottoms, Sir Mix-A-Lot would be proud. Tony walked over to the topless woman, "Friends!" Thor turned around

"Sup' blondie," he wanted to get introductions over early so he could meet this lovely new lady "And hello...LOKI!" if sunglasses could crack, his would do so now. Bruce laughed, some how he knew this was coming.

"You like it?" Loki turned around so the man of iron could see "I had to get a size large, to fit all of myself in."

Tony wished the trickster hadn't averted his eyes down there "Loki, that's a female's suit."

Loki scoffed "No, it was hanging on the unisex clearance rack in the back, it's 6.99, and besides I have already tried it on. So I can not return it." he turned to Thor "Come Thor, let us try one of these water slides."

Bruce panted the broken man of the back "It's okay Tony," and followed the two demigods out of the store.

There were a lot of slides to choose from, some you could ride by yourself and some that could seat four. They tried one in the back that could seat four, but Loki nearly fell out and after that the smaller god refused to get on any more group slides. They tried one that seated two, or at least tried to. The idea of another man lying in another man's lap was a complete turn off. However, the idea didn't seem to bother Thor, which bothered them even more. They found Clint and Natasha in the lazy river, relaxing and thought about getting in, but Tony said it was too boring.

"Where to next?" Bruce asked, he and Thor had just come back from the children's area, which sported a huge bucket that dumped water on you.

Tony looked around not seeing anything that interested him, "There!" he directed his friends to the tallest blackness water slide in the park. "I want to do that!" he was feeling brave today.

"Pitch Dark?" Loki read the sign, looking back at Thor who seemed a little wary about the idea "Okay" the green eyed god agreed

Bruce and Thor watched as the two climbed the hundreds of stairs, the slide looked frighten, it was pretty much a straight drop. They finally reached the top, Tony's heart was beating so fast he thought his reactor would stop "So, you first?"

Loki peered over the edge "I believe the tradition on Midgard is ladies first," he held his hand out.

Dealing with enough insults for today, Tony stepped onto the slide entrance, the guard cleared him for take off. A faint yell was all that was heard from the dark chamber, Loki was wary for a second when the playboy disappeared into the darkness, but he looked over the edge and out came the billionaire.

At the base of the slide, Tony sprung up, wiping the chlorinated water from his eyes. He coughed twice before standing; he could feel the breeze on his butt. He stepped onto the concrete and greeted his friends "Did you see me,"

Bruce winced "Yeah Tony, all of you." and that's when the brown haired man felt the wedgie and quickly pulled it out, today was not his day. Loki was up next and came jetting down the water slide, Bruce, Tony, and Thor watching. The raven haired god reached the bottom, spitting out the nasty water "This water has the most foul taste." Loki spat and walked over to his friends, he noticed that he had dropped his locker key and went back and picked it up.

Mooning his two teammates and his brother. None of them able to take their eyes off the trickster's fair round ass. "Got it!" Loki picked his wedgie "This garment has wedged it's self into my buttocks" and the team was broken from their trace and laughed at the raven haired god.

Seeing Loki's ass was the last straw, no more water park for them, Tony knew all to well that suiting trunks concealed nothing. They left to have lunch, catching up with the rest of the group. Steve and Phil had ridden most of the rides and were having a terrific time. Clint and Natasha joined them but planned on splitting when lunch was done. After lunch Bruce decided he wanted to catch some shows with Agent hill, so the rest of them decided to try a few rides again.

Tony decided that he would pick the next ride, seeing how Phil tried to kill him last time. He looked at the ridiculous map and settled on the ride The Flight of Displeasure. Phil looked over Tony's shoulder "Whooooo, that's a good one, me and Steve haven't gotten on that one today!"

They walked over to the building where the ride was held, eying it suspiciously. "And you say an entire roller coaster is encased in there?" Loki looked at the tall white building. Tony just shrugged and walked into line. Since the park was half empty the group had no problem getting onto the ride, they were the only ones there. The theme of the ride was aliens, from what they guess, cheesy but still didn't give any hints of how the ride went.

A long two seated train wheeled in slowly on the track, stopping at each of its respected gates. Phil and Steve road in the front, Tony and Loki, sat behind them, and Thor sat in the back. There was no way Tony was setting by himself on this thing; he had be picking up on Phil's creeper vibes to whole walk there. The ride workers checked them all in, each avenger peering down the pitch black shaft.

"Welcome to The Flight of Displeasure, please keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times! Take off in 5 seconds...5...4...3..." the ride shot off prematurely "Enjoy your ride." joked the worker

The team was plunged into darkness, at the speed of light Tony was sure. They could hear Steve and Phil's cries of pleasure as the ride sped through all it's twist and turns.

"PLEASE GET ME OFF OF HERE!" Loki shouted as he felt the coaster ascend. Tony and Thor froze in fear when the ride stopped at what they thought was the top and dropped them like a rocket to the ground.

"SON OF ODINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Thor shouted, Tony and Loki joining him screaming at the top of their lungs.

At the end of the ride Steve and Phil found Tony clung to a bench outside and Thor and Loki retching in a trashcan. Never again, they all agreed, watching Steve and Phil race to the beginning of the line again, and after that they settled on the Farris Wheel to end their day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually based on an amusement park I use to go to as a child, wonder if anyone can guess it?  
> Any who, hoped you enjoyed the latest installment! Thanks for reading!  
> And Thanks for the suggestion nlech16!


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